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Tesla hits record output as Meta tilts to AI; CISA data allegedly shared with ChatGPT; Benfica stuns Real, Newcastle draws PSG; Iran “Black Hole” sub talk as USS Abraham Lincoln enters region; Belichick Hall snub; Premier League locks Champions League spots; Kutcher’s “The Beauty”; Gingrich’s all-of-the-above energy push

Tesla posts record production, shrinking money pile

Tesla said fourth-quarter 2025 revenue and profits fell, even as it cranked out cars at record levels, a reminder that making more stuff is not the same thing as making more money, an insight Wall Street periodically forgets on purpose.

CISA chief reportedly fed sensitive government files to consumer ChatGPT

Acting CISA head Madhu Gottumukkala reportedly uploaded sensitive but unclassified documents, including “official use only” contracting files, into a commercial ChatGPT. The uploads were flagged by CISA monitoring tools in early August, triggering an internal DHS review and leadership meetings. CISA says he had temporary, limited access under DHS safeguards, while DHS policy generally blocks the platform by default unless an exception is granted.

Benfica stuns Real Madrid with a goalkeeper’s late header

Benfica, managed by Jose Mourinho, kept Champions League hopes alive by upsetting Real Madrid, sealed by an extraordinary late header from goalkeeper Anatoly Trubin, because of course the keeper scored, football loves chaos.

Newcastle earns gritty 1-1 draw at PSG

Newcastle United rode a rollercoaster at the Parc des Princes and came away with a 1-1 draw against Paris St-Germain, leaving with pride and the quiet satisfaction of annoying a superclub on its own turf.

Iran “Black Hole” submarine talk resurfaces as USS Abraham Lincoln enters region

Questions about whether Iran’s so-called “Black Hole” submarines could threaten a U.S. supercarrier are resurfacing as the USS Abraham Lincoln carrier strike group moves into U.S. Central Command waters. With a major U.S. naval asset now within range of Iranian weapons during a tense stretch, the deployment is drawing renewed scrutiny alongside warnings from Iranian officials.

Bill Belichick’s aura takes a hit, Hall of Fame snub adds sting

Bill Belichick, one of the NFL’s most successful coaches, is seeing his public standing dip, underscored by being passed over for the Pro Football Hall of Fame amid a growing list of setbacks. Even dynasties eventually meet their natural predator, vibes.

Premier League dominates automatic Champions League qualification

Five of the eight teams that qualified automatically for the Champions League came from the Premier League, underlining English clubs’ consistency, while Real Madrid and Paris Saint-Germain must go through the play-offs, which is the sport’s way of charging extra for drama.

Ashton Kutcher says “The Beauty” hits close to reality

Ashton Kutcher says his series “The Beauty,” about a miracle drug with a deadly cost, is not far-fetched and mirrors society’s obsession with staying young, because nothing says “wellness” like panic with better lighting.

Zuckerberg signals big Meta shift toward AI, layoffs hinted

Mark Zuckerberg says Meta will make major changes as it leans further into AI, comments that also suggest the company may be preparing for additional layoffs, because nothing screams “future” like automating work and then firing the humans who used to do it.

Newt Gingrich pitches “all of the above” energy policy

Newt Gingrich argues U.S. energy policy should avoid “picking winners and losers” and pursue an all-of-the-above approach to meet rising electricity demand. He calls for affordable, reliable power, cites polling support for grid upgrades and diverse generation, highlights natural gas as a near-term workhorse, supports wind and solar where practical, and points to small modular nuclear reactors as a path to broader acceptance of nuclear. He also favors infrastructure expansion through innovation and voluntary partnerships rather than coercive land acquisition, and praises recent changes that reduce market-distorting tax credits.

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